Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis
by MercurialLily
Summary: Just a little Liet/Pol thing. My New Year's present to you. You may get feels when reading it. T.
1. Chapter 1

**Author: MercurialLily**  
**Fandom: Hetalia**  
**Title: Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis**  
**Rating: T?**  
**Pairing: Hints of Lithuania/Poland**

**This is something I've been working on for a while. Liet's one of my favourite characters, and interestingly enough, I have both Lithuanian and Polish heritage! ^^ Anyway, Happy New Year to all! I send all of you my blessings and hope that each of you has a wonderful 2015.**

**Also, human names are being used. And it's in first-person Liet.**

My room is dark. I don't mind. Darkness is soothing. It's comforting. It's always been there for me. I wouldn't go as far as to say I love it, but I do enjoy it. Darkness can't judge. It can't get mad at me or scold me if I do something wrong.

I'm lying on my bed. It's terribly uncomfortable. But it's nothing. I've been through much worse in my life. I just came from a horrible experience. My back aches as I shift slightly, trying to get more comfortable. I succeed only in causing myself more pain as the rough fabric of my shirt rubs against my back. It hurts too much. Sitting up, I pull off my shirt and toss it somewhere on the floor.

The pain isn't as bad anymore. With a sigh, I slowly lay back down on my side. The next thing I know, I feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks. What... Why am I crying? Am I really as weak as Mr. Braginsky says? Am I...so weak that I don't even deserve to live anymore?

Who would miss me? Eduard and Raivis, maybe. Feliks, probably. Mr. Braginsky would just find another punching bag (most likely Raivis). He says I'm his "favourite". That's because I'm just easy to take advantage of.

After some time, I hear the door open, and I freeze. I try to slow my breathing; maybe whoever it is will think I'm sleeping and won't bother me.

"Toris?" It's Eduard, speaking in a quiet voice. "Are you awake?"

Before I can answer, I hear another voice say, "Toris, it's Feliks. Eduard let me in. I know I probably shouldn't be here, but I wanted to see you. Can we talk?"

"Um..." Slowly I sit up and look over at the door. There are two figures in the doorway: the one standing stiffly is Eduard, the one slouching against the doorframe is Feliks. I sigh. "Sure. Come in."

"Dzięki, Toris." Feliks turns to Eduard. "And thank you for letting me in. I hope you won't get in trouble."

Eduard offers a small smile before he turns to leave. "I'll see you later, Toris," he says as he walks away down the hall.

I feel the bed dip slightly as Feliks sits down beside me. There is an uncomfortable silence for a while. Finally I speak up. "Why are you here, anyway? And how did you get in without Mr. Braginsky finding out?"

"Well, you know, last time we talked you seemed kind of...tense, I guess. More tense than usual. I got worried. I mean, we're close friends, right?" Feliks pauses slightly. "So I decided to come see you. Luckily for me, Eduard answered the door. I told him I wanted to see you, so he brought me here."

"You are lucky. If Mr. Braginsky saw you -"

"Ah, he doesn't scare me," Feliks said. "I'd beat him up with his own pipe!"

I look away. "Don't joke. If he finds out you're here, he could seriously hurt you. At best he'd just forbid us from ever seeing each other again. At worst -"

"Toris." Feliks sighs softly. "You're my best friend. My only friend, actually. I just want you to know I'm here for you. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"Really?" I ask, turning to look at Feliks. He's staring back at me, looking like he's about to cry. He bites his lip and nods stiffly.

"Really. I'd go through hell to make sure you're okay. That's why I came here tonight. But -" Feliks looks down slightly. "But I guess I was a little late."

"What do you... Oh." My back was facing the door when he got here. He's seen the new lash marks. "That's not your fault," I say quietly.

"It is! I didn't get here fast enough." His voice shakes as he starts to cry. "Przykro mi, Toris. Tak mi pryzkro."

"Don't apologize, Feliks. Please. None of this is your fault." I awkwardly try to hug him in an attempt to comfort him a little. "Please don't cry."

Unfortunately, that doesn't work. He starts crying harder, rests his head on my shoulder, clings to me as if searching for protection. This is a side of Feliks that only I know, the sensitive side, the desperate want for love and support. I rub his back gently, trying to calm him down. He sniffles and says, "You're not mad at me?"

"No. Why would I be mad at you, Feliks?"

"Because..." I can tell he's pondering my question. Then he switches subjects. "Do you like being my friend?"

I'm a bit taken aback by this. "Of course I like being your friend. We've known each other for so long."

"Will we always be friends?"

"Yes, we'll always be friends. I promise."

"Then can I tell you something?" He sits up and looks at me.

I nod. "Go on."

Feliks bites his lip. Then he stares right at me, his eyes piercing my soul. "I'm being completely honest here, Toris. Lubię cię."

I tilt my head. "You like me? I like you too, I guess. I mean, we are friends..."

Feliks shakes his head and adds, "I mean, more than friends. But I know you probably don't feel the same." Slowly he stands and starts towards the door. "I'm sorry."

"Feliks, please don't go. I should be the one who's sorry," I say as I pat the bed. "Come back, please. I don't want to be alone."

"Alone... I forgot, you hate being alone." He turns back to me and smiles slightly. "I hate being alone, too."

"Then will you stay here with me? Please?" I ask.

Feliks nods. "Oczywiście. I'll stay with you as long as you want."

"Ačiū, Feliks." I smile. "Labai ačiū."

_**A/N:**_** Here is my New Year's gift to you! Is it good? I hope so.**

**Translations:**

**Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis - Beautiful Cruel World (Lithuanian)**

**Dzięki - Thanks (Polish)**

**Przykro mi, Toris. Tak mi pryzkro - I'm sorry, Toris. I'm so sorry (Polish)**

**Lubię cię - I like you (Polish)**

**Oczywiście - Of course (Polish)**

**Ačiū/Labai ačiū - Thank you/Thank you very much (Lithuanian)**

**While writing, I was listening to** **Yōko Hikasa's "Utsukushiki Zankoku Na Sekai", which inspired the title.**

**Just to let you guys know, I am going in for a heart procedure later this month. I get palpitations several times a day (they're terribly uncomfortable, I must say) and this ablation procedure is supposed to fix it. I'm getting a 14-day holter monitor on the 5th, and after that I'm having the procedure. I'm kind of scared, as this is the first kind of surgical thing I've ever had, but I hope it works.**

**Also, does anyone want a multi-chapter fic? I was thinking of doing a Hetalia multi-chap, so what are your thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author: MercurialLily**  
**Fandom: Hetalia**  
**Title: Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis**  
**Rating: T**  
**Pairing: LietPol**

_**A/N:**_** I originally wasn't going to add a second chapter, but the wonderful Slovenskych left a lovely review, and I thought, "Why not add another chapter?" So Slovenskych, this one's for you! :)**

**This chapter might be a little wonky, as the first part takes place **_**before**_** the events of the previous chapter. But the second part takes place **_**after**_** the events of the previous chapter. Sound confusing? It's not (I think). Also, this chapter's in Feliks' POV.**

**As always, translations are at the bottom.**

_Why was he acting so strange on the phone?_ I wonder as I walk up the driveway that leads to the huge Gothic-style mansion. _He's never so sharp with me_.

I stop in front of the steps and stare at the large wooden door. Will Toris answer it? That would definitely be ideal, but it'd be fine if Eduard or Raivis answer it instead. Why should I say I'm here? _I need to talk to Toris._ Why do I want to talk to him? _He was acting funny when I called him._

But what if that Braginsky bękart answers it? Then what'll I do? I know that he hates me for standing up for Toris. I'm sure he'd love to bash my head in with that pipe of his. One time I overheard him talking about me at a meeting - he said I was too "spunky" and a "bad influence" on his "pets". I wouldn't call myself spunky - maybe just a little outgoing - but how dare he call me a bad influence? I hang around Toris and the others to instill some confidence in them. It's not a bad thing.

What if it's Braginsky's fault that Toris didn't want to talk on the phone? That would make sense - I've heard that phone privileges are really strict here. Oh, why won't Toris just come live with me already? He'd be safe with me. Eduard and Raivis could come, too. That's perfectly okay with me. It's a great idea. Why not?

_Because I have a duty to fulfill, Feliks._ That's what Toris tells me everytime I suggest he leaves. But I doubt that's the real reason. If he left, Braginsky would probably hunt him down and take him back. That must be what he's afraid of. He doesn't want to be hunted like an animal.

After a few more minutes of staring at the door, I walk up the steps. _Please be okay, Toris,_ I pray as I lift my hand and knock.

. . . . .

"He got you pretty bad this time, didn't he?" I ask. Toris and I are sitting on his bed while I clean his wounds. The old scars covering his back, along with these new marks, make me sick.

Toris nods slowly. He doesn't say anything.

"Do you mind telling me what happened?" I need to know what went on. I hope he doesn't think I'm too nosy.

"Well, uh..." Toris takes a breath. "When you called, I was supposed to be doing the dishes. No one else was around, so I thought it would be okay to answer the phone. While we were talking, Mr. Braginsky caught me. That's why I sounded kind of harsh to you."

I nod. "Then what happened?"

"I prepared myself for the worst, but he just gave me a warning and told me to bring some tea to his office. So I did. But while I was entering his office, I tripped and dropped the tray. The pot broke and tea spilled everywhere." His voice starts to shake. "Mr. Braginsky was furious. I apologized over and over, but he wouldn't listen. Then... Then..."

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to go on." I shake my head. Clearly what happened was an accident, but Toris was still punished. "It's okay. You're safe now."

It's hard to tell whether or not he heard me. He starts murmuring to himself in Lithuanian. It's very quiet, but I'm able to catch this: "Sveika, Marija, malonės pilnoji, Viešpats su tavimi." He's praying. I suddenly remember a conversation we had a few months ago, when he said whenever he feels overwhelmed, he prays. It must have a calming effect on him, because soon he turns to look at me and says, "I'm sorry for all the stress I've put you through over the years. I really am."

"You don't have to apologize," I say. "I don't mind being stressed for your sake. All I want is to make sure you're safe. I'll do whatever it takes."

Toris' eyes widen, but then he smiles slightly and hugs me. "You know... I have to tell you something."

"Hm? What is it?"

"Man patinka jums... As more than a friend," he says softly.

_So he does reciprocate my feelings..._ "Thank you." I pull myself out of his hug and gently kiss him on the forehead. "That's good to know."

_Don't worry, Toris. No matter what, I'll always protect you._

_**A/N:**_** Thoughts? I hope you enjoyed!**

**Translations:**

**Bękart - Bastard (Polish)**

**Sveika, Marija, malonės pilnoji, Viešpats su tavimi - Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee (Lithuanian)**

**Man patinka jums - I like you (Lithuanian)**

**The Hail Mary is one of my favourite prayers, which is why I put it in here. ^^**

**04/01/15: I kind of want to add another chapter to this, but I don't know where to go from here. It ended on such a sweet note, and I don't want to ruin it. Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author: MercurialLily**  
**Fandom: Hetalia**  
**Title: Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis**  
**Rating: T**  
**Pairing: LietPol**

**I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to write this chapter. I've been so focused on Gilbert and Elizabeta's Infinite Playlist, and real life has gotten in the way, but I've really missed this story. So here it is!**

**Oh, and my grandma's birthday is today! :D I'm cooking for her. And then Toris' birthday is coming up (February 16).**

**This chapter's in Toris' POV.**

I'm unaware of how much time has passed. It doesn't feel like it's been very long, but then again I've never been the best judge of time. All I know is that I'm really tired.

Something's bothering me. Is Feliks planning on staying here all night? If so, where is he going to sleep? Knowing him, he'll demand to sleep on an actual bed - it won't surprise me if he forces Eduard or Raivis to sleep on the floor. _Please don't do that, Feliks._ If worse comes to worse, I'll go on the floor. Discomfort is nothing to me.

While this is still on my mind, I turn to Feliks to ask him what he's going to do. Before I can even say anything, he holds out his hand and looks at me expectantly. A krówka sits in his palm. "Want one?" he asks.

"Uh... No, thank you," I reply. I'm hungry - so why am I refusing food? My stomach is telling me to take the snack, but my brain is telling me to ignore it. What should I do? What's the best choice?

Luckily, Feliks always seems to know what I'm thinking. He puts the krówka in my hand, saying, "Take it. I have a ton in my pocket. Besides, you look hungry."

A small smile forms on my lips. "Thanks." The krówka looks delicious, but I take one small bite and put the rest aside. Who knows the next time I'll see one of these? It's best if I keep it hidden somewhere safe so it won't be found.

"You know, I've really been thinking about something lately." Feliks' voice pulls me from my thoughts. "You don't like living here. So come live with me."

"What?" I shoot him a look of confusion. Is he crazy? He knows I'm not allowed to leave. I'm not overstepping my boundaries.

"Toris, your life here is hell. Take a risk and change that. I hate seeing you like this."

"Like what?" I ask. "Like a person bound by rules and obligations? You're fully aware why I can't leave, Feliks. You know the rules I have to live by. I may not like them, but I do what I have to in order to stay alive. I'm not like you. I don't like taking risks. I'd rather play it safe and follow every order given to me than -"

"Bóg! Dlaczego nie można nauczyć się walczyć o siebie?" I flinch at Feliks' sudden outburst. "Nigdy nie będziesz się e z takim podejściem!"

"Stop shouting!" I say, trying to calm him down. "I don't want anyone to hear you!" As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I hear footsteps coming down the hall. "Šūdas..." I'm unsure of what to do, so I just freeze. _Not tonight... Please, not tonight..._

Feliks, however, doesn't seem to be bothered by the footsteps as he points to the door and simply says, "Listen."

_What?_ Having no other choice, I decide to listen more carefully. The footfalls are light and soft, not those of an adult, but more like those of a child or young teenager. And there's only one young teen in this house...

"Toris? Are you okay?" Raivis' voice floats into the room as he appears in the doorway. "I heard angry Polish yelling..."

Feliks waves at Raivis. "Hey, kid. Want a snack?"

Before Raivis can respond, Feliks tosses him a krówka. Raivis' eyes widen when he catches the treat, and within seconds he's eaten the whole thing.

"Where's Eduard?" I ask.

"He'sh downshtairs," Raivis answers, the toffee from the krówka affecting his speech. "He'sh cleaning. He shaid he'll be up shoon."

"When he gets up here, there's something I want to discuss," Feliks said. "With all of you."

. . . .

Before long, Eduard joins us, and Feliks begins to speak: "So I've been thinking."

"That's a first," Eduard mutters. I give him an annoyed look, but it doesn't deter Feliks in the least.

"Your lives here are awful. It's not healthy for you to stay much longer. Sooner or later, you'll all go insane. So I've decided to let you come and live with me. What do you think?"

There's a strange silence in the room. Then Raivis speaks up. "Um, how would we get out of here? It would be kind of dangerous, right? I mean, you're lucky you were able to get here tonight in one piece..."

"I don't like your idea." Eduard crosses his arms. "It's too risky. Besides, what good would it do? We'd be tracked down and dragged back here. And who knows what kind of punishments would be awaiting us?"

"Well, you're not my priority. Toris is," Feliks says. "I made a promise to protect him." He looks at me with a shy smile and continues, "I just want you to be safe. I've never been able to do enough for you. This is my chance to make things right. Please let me help you."

I nod. "I will. I'll come with you." Then I turn to Raivis and Eduard. "If you want to come with me, you're allowed."

"I want to, but I don't want to get in trouble," Raivis says softly.

"And I don't exactly want to risk my life for something that will most likely fail," Eduard adds.

"Then you're not allowed to come," Feliks says, as if it's the worst insult in the world. "So don't interfere with our plans."

"Then I won't."

"Good." Then, with a sneaky grin on his face, Feliks turns to me and says, "Okay, here's the plan..."

_**A/N:**_** I'm so glad this is finally up. It's only taken me a very long time! My sincerest apologies. And there will be another chapter to this.**

**Translations:**

**Bóg! Dlaczego nie można nauczyć się walczyć o siebie? Nigdy nie będziesz się e z takim podejściem! - God! Why can't you learn to stand up for yourself? You'll never get anywhere with that attitude! (Polish)**

**Šūdas - Shit (Lithuanian)**

**A krówka (plural: krówki) is a little Polish fudge/toffee thing. The name literally means "little cow". They're made with milk, sugar, cream, butter, and vanilla, and I really want some right now.**


End file.
